@america Inspiring Woman: Mom In Chief

Last Friday, accompanied by a friend of mine, we went to the @america at Pacific Place, SCBD, to attend a talk. This actually has been a routine for me and my friends to participate in @america events.

If you never heard of @america, quoted from the website, it's actually a U.S. Embassy's American Center located in Jakarta, Indonesia that provides a space for young Indonesians to learn more about the United States and to share ideas about issues that are important to both Americans and Indonesians. They held classes, workshops, talks, to movie screening that's usually free of charge so everyone could come and participate.

This time, we went to a presentation about working moms and their motherhood journey, juggling between career and taking care of the family. I was totally interested since I think every mom has a special story and motherhood is truly not an easy job, moreover to balance it with a career. The speakers came from a Director of Titan Infra Energy and an Ambassador to the United States to Vietnam and moderated by a women activist. The audience was mostly women that's equal to my mom and even my grandma and came from some women clubs in Bogor.

#LevelUpShaula And About Investing In Ourselves

I came across this particular Aida Azlin's instastory a few days ago. Anyway, if you haven't followed and subscribed for Aida's Tuesday Love Letter, go check out her website here because believe me, you won't regret it. Now back to the story, I'm not sure if I have mentioned in this blog, at the beginning of the year I usually create some challenges for myself and I've been doing so since 2 or 3 years ago. Even though I didn't make it for most of the challenges but hey, at least this girl is trying :p

Some of the challenges are:

1. Reading Challenge.

This one is pretty much inspired by Goodreads Reading Challenge where people set how many books to be read throughout the year. On 2017 I only succeed 2 books out of 20 and for 2018 result can be read here. I might be only able to finish 5 books in a year but actually, I was reading more than 5 books but they didn't make up until the end.

The reading challenge actually tells me a lot about myself. I didn't know by tracking my reading can be turned into a self-discovery. By tracking how many books I successfully finished until the last page shows me what really caught my interest; the metro pop and romance novel really bores me while self-help and biography books giving me life. 

      2. 10 New Knowledge & First Experiences.

All I can remember for 2017 right now is I came to a makeup class by Wardah at the end of 2017 to tick my 10 lists. On 2018 I went to a beach camp for the first time, learned floral drawing on youtube, MC-ing for office sports competition, started Journaling, made special Raya pockets, met Allyssa Hawadi and Liah Yoo in person, joined a cooking class trial and others. This challenges me to always open for new experiences, to learn new knowledge and to never ever limit myself. In my opinion, in the end, life is about experiences and while we have the chance, we should go for it.

      3. Savings Challenge.

The hardest of them all. LOL. Fellexandro Ruby (of Thirty Days of Lunch Podcast) gave an idea in one of his sharing to give a birthday gift in a form of a challenge, and one example of them is by completing an emergency fund! Considering how important for us to have an emergency fund, I've successfully tracked my expenses but to stick to a budget is really hard. Well, I'm on my way, guys. I'm on my way.

Best of 2018, the reading challenge result and 2018 gratitute journal

A little disclaimer: this post is on draft since early of January 2019 and only had the opportunity to post it late in March 2019 (I know, my bad).

Congratulations to all of you who have passed the year 2018! To begin the fresh year of 2019, let us thank yourself that we've made it this far. I know, time passed really fast and it still feels like yesterday we celebrated the new year 2018 but look at where we are now, it's 2019.

Firstly, I'd like to share the 2018 Goodreads Reading Challenge result. I challenged myself to read 10 books in 2018, so much lesser than in 2017 (challenged myself to 20 books) because I knew how hard it is for me to finish a book currently. I've lessened the challenge to 10 books for 2018, yet I only managed to successfully finish half of it. Well, actually there were more books that I read in 2018 but most of the reading stopped in the middle and I didn't finish it until the last page. If you're curious about what's in my reading list, check out my Goodreads account here.

Actually I kind of feel ashamed to show the books I finished reading throughout 2018 because the books were mostly a light reading. Marchella FP's Nanti Kita Cerita Tentang Hari Ini was a graphic book that could only take 15 minutes to finish while the longest book was Sitta Karina's first of her Magical Seira series, Seira and The Legend of Madriva that consists of 240 pages. All in all, I take it as a punishment for not keeping my commitment so I promise this year would be better!

Next is a series of The Best of 2018. Here I gather you my favorite things throughout the year, just because I like reading and watching (on youtube) other people's annual favorite.

(Reverse) Homesick and a guide to find home

This post is truly inspired by CultureShockPanda's post in here. 

This month marks almost one and a half year since I left Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, for good. Do I miss KL? Absolutely. And it goes beyond what I have explained in here. I actually miss every bit of it, everything about KL, whether it be good and bad.

A young inspirational YouTuber, Gitasav, said in one of her videos (here), the dilemma of 'perantau' (people going overseas whether it for studying or working) is their confusion of home. Gita, as a perantau herself from Jakarta, Indonesia, to Germany, one time found that she couldn't define whether her home in Jakarta is her actual hometown, or Germany, the current country she resides.

As a perantau myself (which I don't really prefer to be called since Padang-Kuala Lumpur only an hour flight away--not that far in compared to Germany), I have been in that situation before. Like Gita, the first semesters I was still hating the facts that I got to go miles away from my friends and family. I hated that everything was so different, very new and I thought Malaysia was not home, really far from what I thought was home.

But now, after I left Malaysia for good and my student visa expired, I realized KL was the city of my first times where I spent my early-adulthood stage there. I was 17 years old the first time I stepped into the university there and I left the city when I was 23 years old. Can you see the transition there? From a young, foolish and innocent high school graduate to a young lady who got bachelor after her name and ready to embrace the adulthood life.

"Why Don't You Write Again?" and Internet Anxiety

"Why don't you write again?" was the questions I got times this year. It came first from Dad, the loyal reader of my blog, mom, and it came from friends too. I could blame the never-ending office work and my time management skills but to be frank, firstly, it's because I'm too depending on my writing mood. I could have a thousand words on my mind if I'm in the mood, but most of the time it's not on the situation where I could write it down and when I got the time to, suddenly I'm on a writer's block  I made a lot of excuses. On the other side, sometimes I got too overwhelmed and it makes so hard for me to write it all down.

Another reason is something that has been on my mind lately. Talking about the internet, it is a place where everyone can have access to. It could be anyone from the job recruiter, the boss of the company, long lost friend, distance family, friends who said that they're your friend but they're talking about you at the back, the friends of someone you have a problem with or anybody else in the world - which you don't know that they exist.

I was once writing my personal stories and I thought nobody would read cos I didn't tell everyone the link and I thought if some people knew that it's personal, they would understand and got over it- what I'd do to others' personal posts. Turned out people read, shared links and talked about it but never said it to my face and asked me. I once disappoint someone because of my post too. Hence that gave me a lesson to be more cautious about what I share on the internet.

because what stays on the internet stays forever.

Living in the past

Note: Bear in my mind this post was supposed to be posted on Monday (18/06/2018) but then things happened lol.

I was scrolling through Sonia Eryka’s blog yesterday morning on my iPad while listening to Taio Cruz’s Dynamite on Spotify. I wasn’t aware that it was Sunday morning 'till my sister told me that tomorrow (which is today) Dad’s gonna be home so we’ll pick him up at the airport. I was confused because I thought Monday was still in a few days till I checked on my phone it was really Sunday. What bumped me was; Sunday morning, still in my pajamas scrolling through fashion blogs and oh God, this was literally my kind of Sunday morning when I was teen (ugh, hate to admit).

Two Things

credit to Hakim

Although we couldn't manage to visit all, Alhamdulillah some school visits in Semporna, Sabah, went smoothly and we got a very warmth greeting. I didn't expect such welcoming from them, where all the students gather and made a line to welcome us, saying salaam and welcoming us to their school. The students and teachers were very welcome and friendly. Literally, the students were all smiling to us and pay attention to what we were explaining. 

There was this one Maasha Allah speech from our elected President of our club (IIUM UNESCO Club), Bro Ibrahim, that I've taken a note;

There are two things to feed, the brain and the heart.

We feed the brain with knowledge and the heart with Qur'an and Sunnah, and the purpose of our life is actually to feed these two. We should not feed these two with other that it, like materialism and hatred. Feeding the brain and the heart with purposeless and fruitless things during our life is a total waste of time because we only live in this world once and there's an afterlife, the final life.

They also can't go distinctly, the brain and heart need to go altogether. It's because knowledge leads you to the destination, it's knowledge that allows you to be equipped but it's the heart that filled with Qur'an and Sunnah that knows what is good and what is wrong.

 :]

Decluttering Makeup, as 2016's Resolution: Quality Over Quantity

The older I get, the more I know makeup, the wiser I be. We all once must have been in the period of impulsive buying. We buy everything, even we had not known the idea of using all those makeup tools or we buy just for the sake of its cute packaging. I know we were. Times passed by, you would realize that makeup and tools that you've been using over and over were only some, while the others were sitting peacefully on the vanity.

Those happened to me too, it's about time I realized that some makeup looks doesn't suit my personality, some makeups that those beauty bloggers recommend doesn't work on me and some makeup dupes that I thought would be fine, turned out did not meet my expectation that I still longing for the former one that I was looking for the dupe.

My affection towards skincare too, affecting my makeup appetite. As far as my concern is on the "canvas", I would confidently go out even without makeup on. Investing in a good skincare and maintaining a healthy skin is my current main priority that makeup has been set aside for now.

Then I looked at my pouches....

I had only one back then, and it was my mom's since she accidentally left her makeup pouch when she visited me in college. What she left were a mascara, a neutral eyeshadow palette, a powder brush, a lipstick, peach blusher, and face powder. Sounded regretful, in the end, she gave all of them to me with this justification: "At least my daughter would look presentable.". Guess what, she then even regretting the day she gave all her makeup to me because, since that day, my addiction towards makeup was becoming real!

Alhamdulillah

During our trip to Semporna, Sabah, we managed to go to one village in Pulau Bum Bum. The village was caught on fire months ago and we could still see the damage caused that day. The villagers were very nice. They gave us smile, a little bit curious, looking at us just like we were from outside of the world maybe because we looked so different and there was some foreigner with us. I was questioning myself that time...

What if I was born here?
What am I going to do?
What if I was born without access to education and no one to tell me to perform salah?
How my life would be?

Sometimes we forgot that to have a door open is a fortune. Not everyone could get an opportunity to have a door open for us to see the world, too seek knowledge in search of the Divinity. To be born as a Muslim is a blessing. To got a chance to go to school, despite how bad the system is and how bad the chairs are, is a blessing. There are many unfortunates. And they're close.

The Art of Forgiving Ourselves

I couldn't sleep that night. Night felt so cold and my mind seemed out of control. I was staring at the ceiling, wondering what was happening, what was wrong. It's been days and I couldn't figure out what that was and my sleeping pattern was messed up because of that.

And tears started to fall.

My logic told me that crying would not solve the problem, and my logic, being what she was, told me I was fine, maybe it was because I was stressed out. Submissions were coming and we knew that not long after that, I would face the final exams. Trying to be strong, I stopped crying.

But it didn't help.

... And I cried even more.

Flashbacks came and I remembered all things in the past. Scene after scene flashed and the bad thing was they were not the memories that I wanted to remember. Those are the past that I wanted to erase forever, like in computer move it to recycle bin and empty it forever. Unfortunately, our life, body and mind don't work like that because we're not robots.

Those past memories came one after one and didn't stop. They were like saying hi because I forgot them long, telling myself I was okay and it didn't matter anymore, but the fact was I still do.

We often have a picture in our mind how we wanted to be, and I have stuck them into my brain so that whatever I do, I act like how I wanted to be.

I told myself that I was strong, and no one could bring me down.

I told myself that I was smart, I knew which goes to the head and which goes to the heart.

I told myself that I was perfect, I did everything perfectly, systematically, without any flaw.

"Principles, Not Examples"

Source here. Of course, my dorm room would not look like this.

I'm finally back to the twin tower city. Back to mahallah. Back to shawarmas, all nasi goreng, roti canai and teh tarik. After spending 3 months in Indonesia, I'm finally back to the university routine. All subjects are set and I'm ready to give my best, Insha Allah!

The first day of new semester was amazing. I got amazing lecturers, and as usual, to break the ice, they gave us some sort of introduction session and some nasihat session. The first lecturer reminded us how important it is to be alert of the surrounding and to know what is going to happen in the future - being Future Smart and I will give a separate post about this Insha Allah.

Moving on to the third lecture first, because the subject was Investment Analysis, he said that the biggest and the riskiest investment ever made is an investment of a parent to their children. Being a parent himself, he felt that a success of his children is his biggest happiness, that he would do anything for his children, including being apart from them (imagine being apart from your loved ones?). He stayed in KL for Monday to Thursday, and on Thursday afternoon, he would drove back to Ipoh to spend the weekend with the family. Hence he said, "don't disappoint mother and father that have brought you here to study". I almost shed a tear when he said that because disappointing my parents is really something that I don't want to do, and anything related to family always gets me so emotional because I love them so much.

My most highlighted lecture of that day was the second lecture.

Education, Career, Love, or Marriage? - Part I

source

Topik Education, Career, Love or Marriage? ini sangat 'hot' di kalangan pertemanan perempuan, apalagi jika:

• Jenjang usia telah memasuki kategori awal 20-an
• Gelar sarjana sudah di ambang mata/tahun akhir perkuliahan
• (Apalagi jika) telah memiliki pasangan

Obrolan tentang topik ini tidak akan berhenti kecuali dibatasi oleh waktu dan kesibukan, yang nantinya jika datang kesempatan lagi pasti akan kembali dibahas. Tidak hanya tentang rencana yang diinginkan, tapi juga dilema maupun kegalauan akan memilih yang mana, atau kegalauan karena tidak memiliki pilihan apapun. Apakah dilema ini juga dialami oleh para lelaki? Saya pun tidak tahu, karena sering kali topik ini diangkat oleh pihak perempuan.

Postingan kali ini akan saya bagi menjadi dua part agar pembaca paham latar belakang penulisan dan keadaan lingkungan saya pada part pertama, agar tiada pandangan bahwa saya kecentilan, kebelet nikah, dan hanya memikirkan tentang pernikahan saja, dan part kedua tentang isu yang terjadi serta pandangan saya.

Sajak Tak Berujung

source

Datanglah pada bila masa, senja..

Bila sudah cita kita gaungkan

Bila sudah hujan kita tangguhkan

Namun asa sudah kita putuskan

Takkan sajakku berhujung hampa?

- Kuala Lumpur, 18 April 2016

What I'll be Missing From You, Kuala Lumpur

Final year.

Finally, it comes to me the last semesters of my degree life. As they said, time flies fast. A year from now who knows what would I be, whether pursuing a master, being a corporate banker, or maybe.. another fate? A friend of mine showed up an old picture of us with other girls back in the first year of degree celebrating her 19th years old birthday, and there I see the old myself smiling did not recognize that would be the precious time of my degree life and maybe the last time we were all present at someone's birthday. 

Since I would not know what would be going on a year from now, I just wanted to list (apparently I love to list so much - list anything!) some highlights that I'll be missing from the capital city of Malaysia, the city that I've been residing for 3.5 years and finally I can say, my second home.

1. Teh Ais, bungkus!

This would be funny. Clearly we have different perspectives on what is Teh Ais (Ice Tea) here in Malaysia and Indonesia. In Indonesia, an ice tea is called Es Teh Manis or just simply Es Teh. While here, in Malaysia, their Es Teh is called Teh O Ais. Teh O Ais, Teh Ais, that O really matter because if we order Teh Ais only, we will be served with a Teh Tarik, their signature creamy and frothy tea that the making process requires "pulling" pouring technique. So don't be jumbled up! I was once asked for Teh O Ais back when I was home in Indonesia and quickly retold the waitress that what I actually needed was Es Teh Manis. Poor confused mind.

Oh, another one. When we say bungkus, they will tie the drinks on one of the side tips of the plastic. . No more holding the plastic, we have the tie!

Love at First Masks

I couldn't deny that my affection (and curiosity) towards K-beauty started from these two products. My skin was dull, far from glow, acne-prone and simply far from nice. Since it was from early of last year's purchase, I couldn't recall the first time we bumped into each other. As far as I can remember, I was ordering the Skinfood along with Too Cool For School's Marshmallow Puff at Hermo, and the Innisfree mask was from a friend who went to Korea.

And then the magic happened.

New Love: Scandinavian Style

Walaupun saya ini vintage, feminine and classic sejati, tapi saat ini saya lagi suka-sukanya sama Scandinavian Style. Menurut Wikipedia, Scandinavian style ini datang dari gaya di Scandinavian countries seperti Denmark, Norway, Sweden dan Finland. Gaya yang diusung lebih kepada clean, minimalis dan fungsional. Berbeda dengan gaya classic yang sarat dengan detail dan ornamen, Scandinavian Style ini lebih kepada muted colors, monochrome, dan texture. Kesannya sangat modern dan sleek.

Scandinavian trend ini sudah mulai menyebar di luar sana, bisa dilihat dengan banyaknya yang mengadaptasi style ini pada hunian mereka. Bagaimana dengan di Indonesia? Saya menemukan di youtube video tentang hunian yang menerapkan Scandinavian Style ini loh di Indonesia, saya taruh videonya deh ini buat dicek. Interior untuk cafe dan kantor pun juga sepertinya sudah mulai-mulai terpengaruhi dan yang paling saya sering liat Scandivanian Style ini adalah di feed instagram saya, tren ini berkembang pula sampai ke fashion style.

Uang, Kebahagiaan dan Rahmat

siapa yang tidak mau uang sebanyak ini? (source)

Sepertinya ini post pertama saya soal finance :p bukan, saya cuman kurang pede aja masih merasa belum cukup ilmu buat ngebahas tentang finance. Apalagi kalau ternyata bakal dibaca oleh para Masters in Finance, atau pun juga peminat finance dan orang-orang finance. Waduh, malu saya. Ilmunya masih cetek.

Baru saja tadi pagi saya mengikuti Arabic Oral Test dimana bahasa Arab merupahan mata kuliah wajib bagi siswa, setidaknya 2 level untuk beberapa fakultas (termasuk fakultas ekonomi dan manajemen saya) sedangkan 6 level untuk fakultas lainnya. Masing-masing siswa harus mencari partnernya (in my case, 3 orang karena satu orang lagi tidak mendapat partner), memilih satu dari beberapa kertas (seperti cabut undi) yang berisikan 2 pertanyaan. Pertanyaan pertama kami diharuskan membuat sebuah percakapan mengenai "Berpuasa di bulan Ramadhan" dan yang kedua adalah pertanyaan yang harus dijawab oleh masing-masing karena berupa opini setuju atau tidak setuju. Pertanyaannya adalah "Apakah uang/harta adalah sumber kebahagiaan hidup?".

Dengan bahasa Arab yang pas-pasan dan bercampur dengan bahasa Inggris, saya menjawab uang/harta sangat penting dalam kehidupan, namun bukan satu-satunya sumber kebahagiaan.

Visa oh Visa

Permohonan aplikasi pun dimajukan menjadi harus 3 bulan sebelum expiry, padahal sebelumnya pihak imigrasi hanya menerima sebulan atau 2 bulan sebelum

Saya sudah bertekad setelah kembali lagi ke Kuala Lumpur setelah libur lebaran, saya harus submit student pass renewal karena student pass/student visa saya akan berakhir pada akhir bulan September nanti dan akhirnya baru saja direalisasikan kemarin. Banyaknya mahasiswa internasional yang bermasalah dengan permohonan perpanjangan visa mereka, membuat saya harap-harap cemas semoga saja hal tersebut tidak terjadi pada saya.

Kenapa Malaysia? Kenapa Tidak!

Setelah menemukan blog mba-mba Indonesia yang menikah dengan para bule dan tinggal di negara asal suami mereka seperti blog mba Yoyen, mba Ailtje dan mba-mba lainnya, entah mengapa tangan saya menjadi tergerak untuk rajin menulis. Tulisan-tulisan kritis dan menggelitik mereka sangat menarik dan nyentil (dalam artian bagus, agar segala yang buruk-buruk diminimalisir) terutama tentang perbedaan budaya antara Indonesia dengan budaya negara yang mereka tempati. Yang belum tahu silahkan mampir ke blog mba-mba tersebut, they are worth reading :)

Saya kemudian menjadi ingin lebih sering mengamati dan menyalurkan pemikiran-pemikiran saya dalam tulisan. Banyak yang mungkin hal biasa bagi saya, namun ternyata hal yang baru bagi orang lain. Saya dan menulis juga sepertinya tidak bisa terlepaskan -- seberapa kuatnya saya mencoba. Beberapa ide yang hinggap di kepala saat ini diantaranya adalah tentang jurusan kuliah non-mainstream, beberapa cultural shock saya ketika kembali ke Indonesia (Ya, walaupun Kuala Lumpur dekat dan budayanya hampir mirip, tetap saja saya merasakan beberapa shock ketika kembali pulang), serta yang akan saya bahas kali ini: Kenapa Malaysia? 

Ketika mendengar saya akan melanjutkan perguruan tinggi ke Malaysia, tidak sedikit tanggapan yang saya terima, termasuk tanggapan berupa wajah bingung dan heran :D Kebanyakan teman SMA saya (termasuk saya di saat itu) mendambakan universitas-universitas top negeri dan tidak banyak yang targetnya adalah melanjutkan studi ke luar negeri. Belasan teman angkatan saya ada yang menargetkan luar negeri dan mereka diterima di Jerman, karena ada link guru di SMA saya yang biasa memberangkatkan siswa-siswa untuk melanjutkan sekolah di Jerman. Malaysia? Hanya saya dan satu orang perempuan dari kelas IPA.

Stop Standardizing Success

Siapa yang tidak mau menjadi sukses? Beranjak bertambahnya usia, biasanya akan mulai banyak pertanyaan-pertanyaan muncul sebagai refleksi diri akan usia. Apa yang sudah saya capai selama ini? Apakah target saya telah terpenuhi? Seperti apa saya  tahun ke depan? Sukses memang impian semua orang dan semua akan berusaha mencapai sukses tersebut.

Namun, apakah definisi sukses itu sendiri? Menurut Oxford Dictionaries, success adalah the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Sukses adalah pencapaian terhadap tujuan, terhadap target, terhadap suatu keinginan. Semakin dewasa, sukses ini terkadang banyak berkaitan dengan materil seperti pekerjaan, penghasilan dan penghargaan. Tentu, standar sukses bagi setiap orang itu berbeda-beda.